GiAnna. 20. Philly PA. My boyfriend Jason means more than the world to me, he is my everything. Most of my blog is random: My love❤, rants, thoughts and pictures.
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I found out i was pregnant. I was scared to death of everything i had going for me, going down the drain. I was scared of being a young mom and not being ready. I was scared of my relationship taking a bad turn. I was afraid of my family having negative things to say to me at a time when they should be saying positive things. If i could take back the days i cried and said it wasn’t what i wanted, i would. I never should have said that i didn’t want her because it wasn’t her fault she got here. I regret saying all of those times that i hated being pregnant. When in fact, i loved it. I loved looking in the mirror seeing my belly get more round every week. I loved the idea of moving into a new place and having a ton of ideas for a nursery. I loved the fluttery feeling you have when you’re pregnant. I was so sick from the time i was 6 weeks. In and out of the hospital, lots of blood drawings, the terrible nausea and throwing up 10+ times a day every single day. I miss the feeling of that level of excitement. I miss wanting to work harder at my job and work on my health for the fact that i was mom. I think all of the time about how different my life would be right now having a three month old baby. How i wouldn’t be working two jobs with some 17 hour days, jason and i having a family of our own, our daughter’s first halloween, thanksgiving, and christmas. All of these thoughts are haunting me and i feel terrible for saying that it wasn’t what i wanted for us and blah blah blah. I’ve been stronger most days, today is just a bad one.
Hopefully some day God will bless us with a healthy baby girl who we are going to love unconditionally.